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Braoadband Blessing Spray? I’ll buy It!

Physical bandwidth meter

This is what I need:

 B-R-O-A-D-B-A-N-D!!!!!!

I need an angelic provider to beam high speed into my little house in the woods.

 I need capless data usage, or an alternative to the 10 buck per gigabyte swindles the modern day carpetbaggers sell on roadside towers.

 The internet is a way to make a living, a job portal in rural regions with few jobs and none of them hi-tech.

Give me something better than this hiccuping creeping connection that leaves my work and my concentration in ruins.

Are there shrines to bandwidth gods? Can I pay gold? Light a special candle? Cast a spell? Is there a bandwidth blessing spray I can douse my house in to foster an attractive energy for higher speed?

 Is there anyone to bribe?

 I will try anything! Do anything!

And, yeah I will pay.

That’s what this lack of bandwidth a few hours from D.C. is about,  after all. This pocket of high tech workers living outside the city will pay massively more for an incremental improvement.

To the south and west, more rural, more remote. They have real broadband.

 I could climb the telephone pole (might as well use it for something now the land line is gone)with MiFi and netbook, hoping to catch a signal. I opt to drive an hour to town in search of a hotspot–gas being slightly less expensive than data delivery at the moment.

This post is my contribution to Three Word Wednesday. Click the link to see what others have written and join in yourself. Image: Physical bandwidth meter by Todd Barnard, on Flickr.

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